and i decided to sit down and do a mock-up of what precisely is different about indmira from other dunmer
skin: exceedingly pale lilac-y tone, very pale by dunmer standards, to the point where she looks like the washed out ghost of a real dunmer (which is how she feels most days). she also sports falmer-esque redness on her cheekbones, nose, and under her eyes, as well as near most of her joints. her veins are easy to see depending on which part of your body you look at: they’re not so apparent on her face, but they’re clearly visible on her neck, underarms, elbow joints, the backs of her legs, etc. ergo, her skin translucency is higher than a regular dunmer’s
eyes: her eyes are regular dunmer red irises on red “whites”, both of them the brighter red rather than the dark red
hair: it’s within dunmer racial palettes to have white hair, but not typically on such a young dunmer - this is probably the most telling sign of her “otherness”, and the one she tried to cover up before essentially becoming a hermit
her teeth are probably a little sharper than normal and her stature is a little shorter. she’s scared of arthritis in the future bc it will make her hands clawlike :(
endris is The Angry Bisexual and on some level i deeply identify
(wip of some dumb shit that happened in-game)
"Arch-Mage Coppercroft, I -" Katalin’s head didn’t lift from her book, and Tolfdir cautiously approached her desk, multiple magelights hanging overhead casting sharp shadows on the floor. The new and almost asininely young Arch-Mage wasn’t foul-tempered, persay, but she hit periods of intense study or long travel in which no one was allowed to bother her and she trusted Tolfdir to handle any issues that cropped up. This issue, however, was not going to go away unless she handled it directly.
"Katalin. There’s someone here to see you. He says he’s an old friend."
No response, still. Upon further inspection it appeared that her head was resting on the book, and the young woman had passed out reading whatever it was she was studying this time. Jiggling her shoulder with increasing insistence, her red-haired head eventually shot up, whole body rigid in sudden alarm. Tolfdir chuckled and waited for her to register that it was only her old, familiar Master Wizard, bending over her like a professor waking a student who spent too long at the library.
Muttering a few words indecent to her stature, she waved the mage lights away and squinted up at her friend and former teacher, covering a large yawn with the back of her hand.
"What’s wrong, Tolfdir? I was just studying and - well, no, I fell asleep a bit ago - what day is it?" There were those amongst the college’s teacher and student population that believed Katalin was too young for her posting, and Tolfdir tended to agree. But she’d done right by the college, and she’d earned it, and she made no precedent that she was going to be particularly good. At her appointment party she even apologized in advance, asking the members of the college to learn along with her and help her when she needed it, as she would no doubt not settle fully into the role for many years to come.
But that was besides the point, and she was very urgently needed to deal with the problem downstairs.
"It’s Middas. Someone is here to see you, he says you’re old friends." Tolfdir lifted his eyebrow as he finished the sentence.
i’m trying hard to make serenar as non-outsidery as possible but the powers of the psijic order remind me of the outsider’s powers so SO fucking much
making indmira a companion would be amusing and yet also provide a really complex cocktail of problems:
the PC shouldn’t fix all her problems for her
the PC needs to build up trust before she’ll enter cities or even towns - she doesn’t feel safe, she doesn’t feel normal, and the body dysmorphia isn’t going to go away with a few cute words
i feel like maybe side quests in the DLC could help with that? meeting gelebor, going home to solstheim, she really just needs to remember that she used to be slightly more well-adjusted when she was younger / still living on solstheim, and learning some cultural history to semi-reverse her absolute mortification at falmer and everything they are - indmira isn’t really a violent person, but she violently and immediately kills all falmer she comes across.
special remarks for dwemer ruins, if you fast travel into cities she’ll freak out and leave, special remarks on solstheim - distress at miraak’s stuff, shy shy shy shy interest in teldryn, guiding the pc around solstheim because that’s what she used to do at home. special remarks for respective holds, eventual special remarks for cities when she is comfortable enough to enter them, remarks for helgen and small towns and landmarks - also special remarks for lost valley redoubt because it’s my fAVE
special side quests: meeting gelebor, going to see her mother, side quest to wipe out the falmer population of whichever dwemer ruin she was conceived in (custom ruin?)
"Gelebor thinks the falmer can be saved, somehow. Can they? Can I be saved?"
i think her mother would give her a stern talking-to because she IS A DUNMER, she’s always been a dunmer, this body dysmorphia is silly. a mother’s scolding, one that the PC is in no position to give
this is getting kind of long hmmmm
some nords get really “hrr no emotions” but sakine is like the other faction of nords that feels emotions very viscerally and doesn’t feel the need to cover them up
if she’s happy, you’ll know. if she’s angry, you’ll know - if she’s sad, you’ll definitely know.
restricting her emotions is a waste of her time and energy to her, she’d rather feel and get it over with than let it simmer for months or years - i’m talking about very large emotional responses, not small changes in mood. someone dies, and she’ll mourn freely. if she’s happy, she’ll be loud and drink and celebrate joyous events. everyday mood changes aren’t any cause for drama and those get less thought, but big ones, important ones - sorrow and happiness and anger and the rest - she lets herself feel those, often with large outward changes
more shameful emotions such as guilt and fear - she still exhibits them clearly defined from her normal temperament, but they’re more on the DL because. really. she understands fear is natural but she shouldn’t be feeling it so she’s less likely to loudly broadcast the fact.
sakine passing through an “oh, shit, no this isn’t what i wanted” in regards to the stormcloak rebellion is actually kind of. cornerstone to my canon arc at large. it’s like she wasn’t really paying attention to anything but the ideas ulfric fed to her and let grow between her ears and it’s not until - hm, maybe halfway through when she’s already COMMITTED when she comes across multitudes of evidence that make her stop, think, and then begin restructure her view of everything - and she finds herself disgusted. windhelm was like that under ulfric when she was growing up outside of it, but she didn’t question it because she a) was a little kid passing into a ill-adjusted teenager and then she was gone for ten-ish years and when she came back the first thing she encountered was stormcloaks, not those they hurt. and she was justifiably outraged, at the imperials, at the thalmor - mostly at the thalmor, but anger gets displaced and distributed and passed around until in her (unreasoning) mind the legion was just as responsible as the thalmor were. it wasn’t until after she visited the thalmor embassy that that ideal world where the imperial legion and thalmor shared blame equally and independent skyrim was the glorious, inevitable outcome began to crumble with the basic truth that this is what the thalmor want and ulfric was playing right into their plans - was even in hesitant correspondence with them.
her fucking up so critically forces her through a very uncomfortable lesson and then she’s almost done, almost through with the bullshit when the battle of whiterun happens and then she’s REALLY done. she’s out. in fact, she’s more willing to kill ulfric and take his cause for her own and make it better than he could ever have made it - but she doesn’t, because she loses cassien and that takes the fight right out of her and she just wants to sit out in the snow for a few hours or until she freezes over. ulfric’s plan to marry her in order to cement his legitimacy don’t go over well, to be frank
she’s ollieing out of there so fuckin fast. she fucked uP and now she knows she did and she wants to shout ulfic to pieces or scream until she can’t talk but neither of those will help the fact that she fucked up so she just leaves instead. goodbye forever
doesn’t really stop her from power plays in the future, but she doesn’t have the will or the facts to make it happen just then.
wow that was kind of long but the fact that the stormcloak rebellion is so flawed is a great character development point for sakine. once she’s finally done with the whole deal altogether, she finally sees how she can make it better, how it’s within her power to take what ulfric has started and amend it to be good for all of skyrim, not just nords. she is a nord and she wants the thalmor gone, gone forever - but she finds herself incapable of being a racist and incapable of being quiet enough about it to let ulfric use her to his own ends.
Name: Nedanaren [Altmer rarely use last names]
Hails from: Alinor, Summerset Isles
Weight: 227 lbs.
Eye Color: green-yellow
Hair Color: whitish-blond, slightly ashy
Hair Style: swept back from a widow’s peak, generally unkempt and unruly, short-ish and kind of sticks up at weird angles in the back
Favorite Color: no real preference but he dislikes black and gold
END RI S NO